N45 : Forty-fifth lesson S00-TITLE : The secret of politics (From "Parkinson's Law") S01 : We are all familiar with the basic difference between English and continental parliamentary institutions. S02 : We all realise that this main difference has nothing to do with national temperament, but stems from their seating plans. S03 : The British, being brought up on team games, enter their House of Commons in the spirit of those who would rather be doing something else. S04 : If they cannot be playing golf or tennis, they can at least pretend that politics is a game with very similar rules. S05 : But for this, Parliament would arouse even less interest than it does. S06 : So the British instinct is to form two opposing teams, with referee and linesmen, and let them debate until they exhaust themselves. S07 : The House of Commons is so arranged that the individual Member is practically compelled to take one side or the other S08 : before he knows what the arguments are, or even (in some cases) before he knows the subject of the dispute. S09 : His training from birth has been to play for his side, and this saves him from any undue mental effort. S10 : Sliding into a seat toward the end of a speech, he knows exactly how to take up the argument from the point it has reached. S11 : If the speaker is on his own side of the House, he will say "Hear, hear!" S12 : If he is on the opposite side, he can safely say "Shame!" or merely "Oh!". S13 : At some later stage he may have time to ask his neighbour what the debate is supposed to be about. S14 : Strictly speaking, however, there is no need for him to do this: he knows enough in any case not to kick into his own goal. S15 : The men who sit opposite are entirely wrong and all their arguments are so much drivel. S16 : The men on his own side are statesmanlike, by contrast, and their speeches a singular blend of wisdom, eloquence and moderation. S17 : Nor does it make the slightest difference whether he learned his politics at Harrow or in following the fortunes of Aston Villa. S18 : In either school he will have learned when to cheer and when to groan. S19 : But the British system depends entirely on its seating plan. S20 : If the benches did not face each other, no one could tell truth from falsehood - wisdom from folly - unless indeed by listening to it all. S21 : But to listen to it all would be ridiculous, for half the speeches must of necessity be nonsense. T00-TRANSLATE : Exercise: Translate T01 : Economics is known as the "dismal science" but politics is even more dismal! T02 : The government was unable to stem sharply rising unemployment. T03 : You really scored an own goal when you pretended not to understand him. T04 : His speech was just drivel. Hear, hear! T05 : There's no need for you to do this exercise. Wouldn't you rather be doing something else?