N67 : Sixty-seventh lesson S00-TITLE : LEARNER VOWS TO SOLVE HEADLINE RIDDLE! S01 : A newspaper headline gives a brief description of the story it prefaces, so it should be easy to understand, should it not? S02 : Would that it were that simple! Sadly, headline writers are a law unto themselves. S03 : For a start, they get rid of "small" words like articles and they usually use only three verb tenses. S04 : But above all they employ words that are shorter and punchier than those found in everyday English. S05 : The aim is to grab the reader's attention and make him or her want to look at the article. S06 : For example, "to axe" means "to eliminate": CITY TO AXE JOBS (employment will fall in the City of London). S07 : Likewise, people do not have disputes: they clash: EMPLOYERS AND UNIONS CLASH; S08 : no one is criticised: they are slammed: PM SLAMS BACK BENCHERS; S09 : nobody ever resigns; instead they quit: REFORM CZAR QUITS. S10 : and all investigations are probes: POLICE LAUNCH DRUG RING PROBE. S11 : To make matters worse, nouns can be verbs, and vice versa: POLICE PROBE DRUG RING! S12 : Puns are another headache - and many of them can be excruciating. S13 : For instance, if severe winter weather makes life tough for drivers, the article will be headlined SNOW JOKE. S14 : Or when people start buying Christmas presents before Christmas, you might read: XMAS SHOPPERS STOCKING UP; S15 : Then there are "accidental" puns: BRIDGE HELD UP BY RED TAPE does not mean that the bridge is falling down S16 : but that construction has been delayed by bureaucracy! Get it? S17 : Another problem is how to decipher a string of words. For example: MOTOR PLANT BOSS IN PAY DEAL ROW. S18 : The secret? Try reading the headline backwards: S19 : there is a dispute (row) over an agreement (deal) concerning the wages (pay) of the manager (boss) of a factory (plant) that makes cars (motor vehicles). S20 : See? It's easy when you know how. Anyway, most headlines are about crime and pun-ishment... T00-TRANSLATE : Exercise: Translate T01 : Is he tall, dark and handsome? Would that he were! T02 : I just don't get it: why are they axing all those jobs? T03 : The UN conference clashes with this week's European summit. T04 : Our train was held up for four hours by snow. T05 : The divorce created a huge headache for his sister's family.